"Children, it is your Christian duty to obey your parents, for this is the right thing to do. “Respect your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise added: “so that all may go well with you, and you may live a long time in the land.” (Ephesians 6:1-3; Exodus 20:12).
"God's curse on anyone who dishonors his father or mother.’“ And all the people will answer, ‘Amen!’ (Deutoronomy 27:16). "If you curse your parents, your life will end like a lamp that goes out in the dark." (Proverbs 20:20)
There is usually much heat, emotion, agitation, pretence, flattery and, often, exploitation linked to the feast of St Valentine. This the article examines the nature of Valentine's Day, and takes us back to the origins of the feast, so as to know its significance, and to be able to perpetuate its legacy. Follow me : "You will Know the Truth and the Truth will set you free" (John 8 :32).
1. ST VALENTINE'S DAY HEAT
Activities
Many people celebrate their love for their partner by sending cards or letters, giving gifts or flowers and arranging meals in restaurants or romantic nights in hotels. Those who long to have romantic relationships with others use the occasion to make these known. St Valentine's cards are often decorated with images of hearts, red roses or Cupid - the goddess of love. Common Valentine's Day gifts include flowers chocolates, candy, lingerie and champagne or sparkling wine. But some people also use the occasion to present lavish gifts, such as jewelry to their loved ones. Many restaurants and hotels have special offers at this time. These may include romantic meals or weekend breaks.
Localities
In the US Valentine's Day is a festival of romantic love and many people give cards, letters, flowers or presents to their spouse or partner. They may also arrange a romantic meal in a restaurant or night in a hotel. In Italy, Saint Valentine's Keys are given to lovers as a romantic symbol and an invitation to unlock the giver's heart.
Symbols
The most common Valentine's Day symbols are the heart, particularly in reds and pinks, and pictures or models of Cupid. Cupid is usually portrayed as a small winged figure with a bow and arrow. In mythology, he uses his arrow to strike the hearts of people. People who have fallen in love are sometimes said to be 'struck by Cupid's arrow. Other symbols of St Valentine's Day are couples in loving embraces and the gifts of flowers, chocolates, red roses and lingeries - between couples, and casual lovers.
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LOVE COMES FROM THE HEART |
2. MEMORY OF ST VALENTINE
Institution
The Feast of Saint Valentine was established by Pope Gelasius I in AD 496 to be celebrated on February 14 in honour of Saint Valentine of Rome, who died on that date in AD 269. The day became associated with romantic love in the 14th and 15th centuries when notions of courtly love flourished, apparently by association with the "lovebirds" of early spring. In 18th-century England, it grew into an occasion in which couples expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines").
Background
There are a number of Saints called Valentine who are honored on February 14. The day became associated with romantic love in the Middle Ages in England. This may have followed on from the Pagan fertility festivals that were held all over Europe as the winter came to an end. Traditionally, lovers exchanged hand written notes. Commercial cards became available in the mid nineteenth century.
Merit
There are a number of martyrdom stories associated with various Valentines connected to February 14, including an account of the imprisonment of Saint Valentine of Rome for ministering to Christians persecuted under the Roman Empire in the third century. According to an early tradition, Saint Valentine restored sight to the blind daughter of his jailer. Numerous later additions to the legend have better related it to the theme of love: an 18th-century embellishment to the legend claims he wrote the jailer's daughter a letter signed "Your Valentine" as a farewell before his execution; another addition posits that Saint Valentine performed weddings for Christian soldiers who were forbidden to marry.
Legacy
Given the merits of St Valentine of Rome - to whom Valentine's feast is dedicated - who was imprisoned and executed as punishment for his love and compassion for the persecuted Christians, the true legacy is divine love. This is done by showing love and compassion to everyone - but especially, to the oppressed, the weak, the needy, the abandoned, the sick, poor; in our families and communities.
3. THE UNLOVED VALENTINES
Contempt
Painfully, the focus of St Valentine's feast in the contemporary world is on sensual and material love. Thus divine and filial love are highly ignored; and the parents - old dads and mums - are the most neglected. Most of you, young men and women, treat your parents with contempt - you disobey them, you offend them, you neglect them; and even accuse them.
You kneel down to offer flowers and rings to your spouses, you beg your dating partners to accept your gifts - but you expect your dads and mums to prostrate before, in order to receive your attention. You think that you are doing them favors, whereas it is your duty to honor them, out of love, and as commanded by God.
Ingratitude
As a baby, your dads and mums fed food into your mouth when you were hungry, and kissed your cheeks to comfort you when you cried. How many times have you ever put food into your mum's or dad's mouth, even, when they are sick? Or hug them, saying "mum, dad, I love you", when they are depressed? Rather, you keep them in the kitchen or backyard when you eat at the table, so that they do not see how you put are feeding your spouses, or boyfriends and girlfriends.
Some, even, wish and pray for old "things" to die fast and stop worrying them. And when their dads or mums finally die, they pretend to mourn or to "celebrate their lives" - as they say, but in fact, they are glad that no one would worry them again. Still, others pretend that they do not have money, but the day their parent die - of misery - they come with expensive coffins and spend thousands of dollars on feeding and drinks, so that their guests may praise and glorify them.
Greed
Some of you say, "I have not yet made it - I want to make money first". Do you want to become a millionaire before you care for your parents? Pity? What if they die - of hunger, sickness and misery? When God begins to sanction you the false prophets will profit to ruin you - instead of telling to care for your old parents and relatives, they will tell you to tithe and sow seeds - which you will do all in vain. Then some of you give just to save your faces, or to save your name or boast, "if not of me...." You do not give out of love - that is why when you give, you are angry with them, you complain about them, you accuse them, and you insult them.
You complain that your mums and dads are worrying you - and you send them out of your homes - you forget how much you worried them when you were a baby, and how stubborn and mischievous you were as child. They gave you everything they had - their blood, life, breastfeed, time, protection, feeding and comfort - now, you consider as a burden, to relieve yourself of - this is shameful! Why do you despise your dads and mums instead of appreciating them? What can you ever do pay her back? Can you ever carry her in your womb or breastfeed her?
4. PARENTS DESERVE MORE
Brothers and sisters - children and grandchildren - repent and start loving your parents, before it's too late for you. You may not stand the anger and punishment from God - when the time comes. You should stop complaining of the faults and weaknesses of your parents and grandparents. They are now just as dull and childish as you were when they carried you in their arms, hugged, and comforted you. Now, it is your turn to support and cherish them - no matter what they are, how they are, and what they do.
More Than Giving
It is not just about giving - it is about honoring, obeying and submitting, to your parents. If you give to dishonor your parents, then your giving is a mockery and is not worth accepting. Some of you have reversed the will of God - and want, instead, your parents to honor you, obey you, and submit to your decisions and orders. Let me ask you this question: does a stream flow downward or upward? If you agree, with me that a stream flows dowward, answer the next question: Is it the spring that feeds the stream, or it is the stream that feeds the spring? The truth is that no matter how wide and deep a river is, it depends always on the little spring from which it takes its source. You can not change the ways of nature!
If you do not give to your parents out love, but out of obligation or desire to boast, then your giving has no value - no matter the amount you give. If you give what you have, from the depths of your heart and with all your love, then you have given everything you have - that is the meaning of the widow's mite (Mark 12:41-44) - giving with all your love. Thus you give life to someone, and this is pleasing to God.
Do Not Judge
Even if your dad did not take care of you or sent you to school, just for the fact that he procreated you, and accepted you as his own, he deserves more than honor from you. Even if your mother did not feed you - just for the fact that she accepted to be pregnant with you, and to carry you in her womb for nine months - she deserves more than honor from you. Some have refused to conceive, others conceived like your but aborted, and many children are still being aborted today. But your mother loved you, and preserved you in her womb until birh, then breastfed you, so that you are alive today.
Your mum even lost her husband's (your father's affection), when you were born - because she turned all her attention to you. You became the destination of all the smiles, kisses and caresses she used to give to her husband. You were the "apple of her eye" - that's why she was happy and proud to carry you along to wherever she went. Your name even replaced her usual names - they called her "Mother of Jane" - your name, instead of Mary or Mrs Joseph.
First Husband and First Wives
You should know that as a boy child your first wife is your mother - if you don't care for your own mother, then your love for your wife is pretentious and selfish. You pretend to love her only for sex - no sex no love - and this is proven to be true. You should know that as a girl child your first husband is your father - if you don't care for your own father, then your love for your husband is pretentious and selfish. You pretend to love him only for sex or money - no money, no love - and this is proven to be true.
If you are a man and do not care about your own mother and mother-in-law, then your love for your wife is pretentious and fake. If you are a woman and do not care about your own father and father-in-law, then your love for your husband is pretentious and fake.
5. PAMPER YOUR OLD BABIES
To pamper your old babies - dads and mums - you have to to indulge them with every attention, comfort, and kindness; that is to say, you have to shower them with love.
Be Tolerant
Do not capitalize on the moods and mistakes of your parents to oppress or neglect them. Some of them can no longer think or reason well - they have become "stupid" - just you were when you were a baby. So understand them, tolerate them help them - do not hate them. When they are wrong, bring them to reason humbly, gently and lovingly. If not, just bear their wrongs patiently. Consider that some did not even have the opportunity to see their mums, dads or both. But some of you are blessed to see, not only your parents, but also your grandparents - you ought to give more thanks to God.
Give Attention
Do not only give them things, but your full attention, care, compassion, and companionship. They parents are not pigs that you just throw food to them and go away. The sphepherd carries his sheep on his shoulders, and I see you touch and pet your pets - dogs, cats, pigeons and parrots. These are animals - why not also kiss and caress your parents, your old babies, who are human beings like you? You provide very cozy cages and boxes for your pets and domestic animals - you even talk to them; who can not hear or answer you. But your keep your parents away, in the old person's homes, having no one to talk to. This is unbelievable!
Keep Company
Keep your old "babies" company, and engage them in lively discussions to revive their memories and their spirits. Request from them to tell you stories about things that happen in the years of their youth. By doing this you also learn so much from them - wisdom, culture, history, consel etc - for some of them are living encyclopedia. You just need to stimulate them, and they would download knowledge for you.
Also, do call them by some sweet names; such as, baby girl, guy, sweet mum, young man, boyz - and many more. Sing songs to them and invite them to sing to you, take them out for a walk, visit the parks, and nature in the countrysides; or the cities - if they live in the countrysides. Try to have fun with them. This gives life and joy - which money or food alone can not give.
Visit Regularly
If they live with you, give them every day at least one hour of exclusive attention - no matter your busyness. Do not just sit with or abandon them to watch TV, the walls, the emptiness or passers-by - as the case may be. In your time of exclusive attention, ask them about their health, their feelings , needs, wishes etc. If there is anything you can not provide or wish you can fulfill; gently and politely make them see why you can not. If they live away from you, do visit them regularly to give them your attention in proximity, and in addition to the material things you give to them. Do not just stop at contacting them on phone, video calls and on social media networks. They look up to you, count on you, depend you, just as you did as little child. So do not make them feel rejected, neglected or hopeless - but show them sympathy and give them consolation, give them strength, and give them hope.
Sacrifice
Finally, your giving to your parents should be sacrifices that you make, and not surpluses that you have or what are useless to you. Give them the things - money, time, care etc - that are useful and valuable to you - and feel the pains. This is the proof of love; that is why your mother did not give birth to you without labor and pain. Do not say you do not have time, money and so on - but start making sacrifices for your parents, and see how much more God can bless you (2 Corinthians 9:7-8). For your dads and mums are not gutters, where you dump your surplus, excess and waste matters.
There is the time for receiving and there is the time for giving; and in everything, you give not because you have received enough, but because in giving you receive more than what you give - this is the secret. And here are three things that you must not do when you give: Do not give stingily, do not give angrily, and do not give boastfully - these things bring you no reward.
Blessings and Curses
The love for parents is the only love that may be shown to be truly selfless - because it has no consideration for sensual satisfaction. Some of you - young men and women - have already been cursed, and many may still be cursed for despising, disobeying and neglecting your parents. Some of you - young men and women - have been blessed and many will still be blessed, for loving and caring for your parents, and for abandoned parents who are not your family members, or whom you do not even know.
Whether they speak or remain silent, the blessings for you, who honor and love your old Valentines, are alive and active (Exodus 20:12). Whether they speak or remain silent, the curses for you, who dishonor and ignore your old Valentines, are also alive and active (Deutoronomy 27:16; Leviticus 20:9). This is the Truth - it is bitter but it must be spoken - for only the Truth can set you free (John 8 :32). I wish you a happy St Valentine's Day!
My Prayer:
O' LORD, have mercy on the poor men and women, who accepted your call to procreation, but who in their old age are now abandoned in loneliness and misery, amidst the contempt and neglect of their own children, and the indifference and selfishness of the world. Some have no house to live in, some have no food to eat, some have no clothes to wear, some are sick and without help, and some do not have anyone to talk to them. LORD, may you send them your angel helpers and make your grace sufficient to keep them strong, until you call them back to your heavenly kingdom. LORD, May you also bless those children - who are willing and struggling to care for their old parents - with more resources and strength to provide for the needs of their parents, whom you used to bring them to life in your creation, AMEN.
Author: Aying Godman, is a Catechist, Evangelist & Blogger of the Roman Church; Founder of CATHOLIC FRONT (The Catholic Frontline Community™) Email: ayinggodman@gmail.com
Copyright (c) Aying Godman - Catholic Front Media (2021-2022) All rights reserved.
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