"And God said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.’ So they are no longer two, but one. No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together.” (Mathew 19:5-6).
Love does not grow by leaps and bounds, but progresses slowly from an embryo of reciprocal jealousy and through a delicate stage of violent personality conflicts - that is marked by accusations and bitterness, and by separations and reconciliations - before culminating in a lofty tie of intimacy in which the mutual fondness between the players is spontaneous and irresistible.
Admist the currently rampant and painful breakups in marital relationships Catholic Front takes us to revisit the age-old game of persistance and resistance, played by parties dating to marry. This was, and is still, the ideal solution to prevent fragile marital bonds; which are sealed in one day and broken up in the next day. Follow me! You will Know the Truth and the Truth will set you free (John 8:32).
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DATING BEGINS WITH EXCITEMENT |
PERSISTENCE AND RESISTANCE
When you continue to try to achieve or to get some thing despite all difficulties and opposition from your opponent, and from other people, then, you are acting with persistence. Contrarily, resistance is the counterweight to persistence. This is the ability or power to oppose, the firm refusal to accept, to surrender, to collaborate with or to compromise. As the two forces play, the natures and characters of both players are being unveiled - until one player gives up or both get tired - for the game to end.
But many young people, today -suitors and suitresses - are caught in the trap of lust and facility. Some fall in out of ignorance, temptation, or circumstances of life. But others get in, fully aware and prepared, to deceive and to exploit their partners. Here girls are usually the unfortunate victims in the hands of young men. Meanwhile, old men are often the victims in the hands of dubious young girls. Both victims find it hard to bear the pains, and some have committed suicide, while others are living in perpetual remorse. That is why wise and serious girls or men must not take any chances in matters of love and matrimony.
VICTORY WITHOUT STRUGGLE
The absence of the game of persistence and resistance in many courtships today is, rather, regrettable. This encounter is being undermined by lust, avarice (greed), rivalry, impatience, and moral decadence. So, as women have refused to resist the men's advances of love, so the men too have decided to spend no time in loving one woman. And if there are any sacrifices to be made, the men prefer to pay in cash - for many are the women who love money.
Today, most women expect the man they admire, or want, to speak fast. And as soon as he speaks the woman conffirms - without question and without delay - as if she had been waiting. In some cases, if the man fails or is slow to advance the woman takes the lead. In fact, many young girls today fear that a faster rival could conquer the man they want, if they fail to act in time. So some women are already seizing the customary privilege of the men to make advances for marriage. And some are also paying, in cash, for the men they love.
Of course there is nothing wrong for a woman to manifest her love for a man; but this is traditionally done by sign language, so that the man may have the courage and confidence to speak to her. Also is good, and pleasing to God, for a man to help a woman in need, or for a woman to help a man in need. But the only thing is that money can not, and should not be use to, buy love. Such love is not true because it does not come from the heart.
THE DECADENCE OF LOVE
Nowadays, without any play of persistence or resistance many courtships begin in the evening and are concluded at once - then the union is consummated overnight. The players instantly declare their love for one another - and seal the relationship - when indeed, none of them knows the other. So sex becomes the first act of acquaintance
Then after sex, their eyes open and they begin to see their respective weaknesses. This is why they also begin to find faults and give reasons why they do not like the one or the other. The result is regret and resentment, and since their relationship is worth nothing - as they did not strain to build it – they do not also hesitate to break it.
These momentary unions and separations are not without consequences. They are the causes of unwanted pregnancies and of abortions and deaths.They leave behind bastards, STDs, broken hearts, and broken families. The worse victims, mostly, are the girls - who may carry the burden of abandoned kids, character assassination, and loss of dignity.
THE GAME OF LOVE
Until recently, persistence and resistance were the two players in the courtyard of love. Thus, when a man desired a woman he was prepared to sacrifice – not money any way, but time and energy. He had to lubricate his tongue, scrutinize his attire and polish his character, to be able to convince the woman or girl he wanted. He equally had to go down in humility and fasten his belt of patience, in order to wait – and sometimes for many years. In fact, courtship was not something that started by evening and materialized at midnight It was a tough and memorable hurdle.
The woman or girl, on her part, had to put up a steep resistance in the face of love advances. Even if she wanted the man she would pretend, reject and torture him as much, and as as long, as possible. Often, the girl would despise the suitor, mock and, even, insult him - just to test and see!
Sometimes, the game ended prematurely - when the man quickly gave up. Then the girl will not regret, even when she wanted the man, because she concluded that he didn't really love her. Other times the game would go into prolongation, and the man will quit - knowing fully well that the girl would never accept him - no matter what. But the ideal game ended when, after so much struggle, both the man and the woman had become "tired". They would stare at each other like rival cocks, fighting for supremacy. It was, then, the beginning of Love.
THE MERITS OF THE GAME
The game of persistence and resistance is the test of genuine love. When the two forces clash with equal weight there is a draw game – and the two are victors. They hold each other in high esteem because both of them - the man and the woman - has paid the non-refundable price of persistence or resistance, to win the heart of the other.
Besides, the match between persistence and resistance eliminates all adventurers , deceivers and impersonators - before it is half time. Infact, only potentially true and faithful lovers get to the end of the match.
Moreover, the nature of the game and its duration allows and enables the love players to know each other fairly well – their strengths and weaknesses, as well as their likes and dislikes.For even when the Holy Spirit speaks, as some people may claim to have heard, one must take time to know the person about whom the Spirit is speaking. This is helpful to know how to live and interact with that person.
Finally, as the love has taken time to grow, it also stands firm and lasts (stays) for ever. For if the match was a confrontation of genuine ideo - personality differences, then culmination will be permanent. Now the grace of the Sacrament of Matrimony flows in to strengthen and to seal the bonds of their love. This bond becomes unbreakable, as it solidifies, through prayer and grace, with the passing of time. So they are able to remain together - in health or sickness, in riches or poverty, and "until death do us part" - as they vowed at the alter of their wedding.
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Happy Feast of St Peter and St Paul.
Today June 29, the Church celebrates the solemnity of St Peter and St Paul. It is the feast of the love of God. Let us imitate these foremost Apostles of the Church by dedicating our lives - as they dedicated their own - amidst the resistance and the adversities of the world to proclaim, and witness to, the Good News of Jesus Christ.
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Thought of the Week
"With the passing of time, the only thing that does not end is love ; and at the time of leaving, love is the only thing that one may leave behind and still take along. So do not neglect the rose in your garden of love - it is the only asset you can count. And fancy, not love ; for it is borne in the heart and not worn in the face. "
(Whispers of Wisdom by Aying Godman)
Author: Aying Godman, is a Catechist, Evangelist & Blogger of the Roman Church; Founder of CATHOLIC FRONT MEDIA™
Email: ayinggodman@gmail.com
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